I choose to be different...
*NOTE: This article will be appearing in the latest edition of Life Skills Magazine, run by Ayo Olaniyan. Please visit Discovering Purpose to find out more!*
“Don’t let anyone steal your dream. It’s your dream, not theirs.” – Dan Zadra
I believe you can do, and be, anything you want in this world.
It sounds wonderful, right? The best part is that it’s true. You can truly be anything you want to be in this world, you can set out to achieve any desire that you may have, and it’s entirely possible to live the life that you really want.
Sure, if you looked around at your family, your friends, and the public who walk the streets, you may think that not many of them believe in what I say. They don’t seem happy or fulfilled. And you’d be right, they probably aren’t, otherwise they’d have that Buddha-like expression of content plastered onto their face.
But regardless of how many people aren’t happy or fulfilled, and regardless of how many of these people tell you that you won’t be able to reach your dreams and your highest life, it doesn’t change this simple, basic fact: you are whoever you choose to be.
So how do you become whoever you choose? Simple – alter your thinking.
Thinking Forms Your Life
There isn’t a lot physically that separates you from me. We both have muscles and bones and skin. We both talk and breathe. We both eat and drink and sleep. But what does separate you from me are our mental factors, particularly our thoughts. Here, we can be as different as a dog is different from a duck.
With thoughts, we’re completely different. No two set of thoughts are the same. In other words, only you can think your thoughts, no-one else can think them for you. Having said that, does it make sense that you can think of a better life for yourself?
It’s being widely documented that positive thinking can have an effect on your well being. Sure, it may not be as drastic as conceiving of miracles with your mind, but thinking more upbeat, happier thoughts certainly changes the overall ‘joy factor’ of your life. You think you’re happy, therefore you’re happy.
So why not think happier thoughts? We all want to live more fulfilling lives, being a better and happier person – the first step to achieving that is by thinking the right kind of thoughts. You want to lose weight? Think that you’re going to lose weight. You want to make more money? Think that you’re going to make more money. Thinking is the first step towards achieving.
What’s more, you must have the willpower to not only think of the changes you want to make, but also take action and turn those thoughts into a physical reality. You see, no-one will think of the right thoughts for you. No-one will think of any thoughts for you. It’s down to you to change your thought patterns to be in line with what you desire to be. There are many resources out there which can help you change your thoughts – simply type in “change your thoughts” into Google.
Once you have developed the necessary willpower to freely think of more positive thoughts, what kind of thoughts do you think of? Here, there are no limits.
Moving Beyond Limits
If you choose to live a limited life, than you will live a limited life.
I don’t think I can put it any plainer than that. If you think that you aren’t able to do something, then you set yourself up for that outcome. For example, if you think you are too young to be a millionaire, then chances are you won’t become a millionaire until you’re much older, if at all.
This practice is known by many names, but I prefer the term ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’. Basically, if you think of something either good or bad, and you maintain that belief for long enough, it will then become reality. This happens because, as I said, our thinking is the first step.
Need an image to go with this? Sure, let’s imagine a flight of stairs – if you want to go up the stairs, and you find that the first step is missing or broken, what happens? If you try to climb the stairs, you’ll likely stumble and trip. It won’t be pleasant. Similarly, if you want to go down some stairs and you find that the first step is missing or broken, this then hinders you going down. Again, you’ll likely fall.
Because our thinking affects our actions, we affect our outcomes. For example, if we impose a health-related limit on ourselves (“I will never lose weight”), then our actions will be in line with our thinking, and we’ll avoid any weight-loss activities. If we impose another limit on ourselves (“I will never be attractive”), we’ll perform actions that reinforce this belief, such as shying away when in public and dressing ultra-conservatively.
No matter what limit you put on yourself, you will fulfil it if you believe it. With this in mind, is it not better to completely eliminate limits from your thinking? If you have no limits, then anything becomes a possibility, and if there are unlimited possibilities, then you have an exciting and fulfilling life on your hands!
Take Charge
Yes, everyone can live a fulfilling life – everyone can remove limits from their thinking and be whoever they wish to be. But no-one will do it for you. You have to take charge.
The responsibility for your life falls squarely with you – no-one else can bear that responsibility for you. It’s up to you to think the thoughts that are necessary to live the life you want, and take the appropriate actions. If you try to leave this responsibility with someone else, nothing will happen.
And why will nothing happen? Because we all have our own lives to lead and our own responsibilities to bear. I can’t take on any responsibility for your life, and I wouldn’t expect you to take any from me. That’s not how this world works. Your life is completely in your hands, and it’s your decision as to who you want to be in this world.
Do you want to be someone who is lazy, unproductive, aggressive, and depressed? It can happen if you believe it. Or do you want to be someone who is productive, happy, meaningful, and generous? Again, it can happen if you make it happen.
Make that decision to really be who you want to be, and take action.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
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Image courtesy of alisdair
{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
Stuart, I like this! You never cease to spread yourself and amaze me! I think the best addition to this article would be: “This is what I believe and I’m willing to die for it” – Will Smith
Thanks Jonathan, appreciate the kind words and the Will Smith addition!
Have you found something that you’re willing to die for, or are you working towards it?
Spot on, Stuart, when you say we often live with limits and thus limit ourselves, our potential, and our happiness and joy. We almost negotiate ourselves out of the best deal there is – to have fun and succeed simply by being ourselves. The truth for me is that life is about self-permission living – when we allow our ‘self’ to lead the way, the real person inside, the personality that’s natural, and the individual who is just that, we give the green light for ‘go’ for all that’s good and right and bright in our lives. WE are the powers that be! Put your hands in the air and shout..’I’
John Sherry recently posted..Are You REALLY Depressed?
Exactly John, self-permission is the way forward, as it opens us up to do whatever we truly want to do. Of course, we have to balance this with care and consideration for others, but finding that balance is not that hard.
Living for your own goals, and being your own person – this is the best way
There isn’t anything to be added to the post but being the yakkity yak that I am, I will leave you a pretty comment
In Psychology we kept learning that out thoughts have much more power than we hold them accountable for. The day you start believing and truly believing that you have “that’ within you to change the way you want to be, that day is your day one. You are the change you want to be.
Limits are what you set for yourself. You decide how far you can go and you decide how far you can’t. A professor once taught me this, divide your goals into smaller segments and every time you achieve that little segment, you feel confident of yourself and your strength but don’t lose focus on the big goal in mind. Look withing yourself, find out what’s making you the person you don’t want to be and just change it, it might take time, it might take effort but it is only YOU who can bring about all that!
Loved it! Best post ever!
Hajra recently posted..Vampires and Being Yourself
That’s a fantastic summary you’ve just provided for us Hajra, and that’s not much else I can add to that!
Thanks for adding to the conversation with your psychological-comment
I like what you said here, Stu: “Thinking is the first step towards achieving.” Can’t agree with you more! We act out of our beliefs. And what if we think we can achieve some particular end, we will more likely do those things that lead to achieving it. But if we don’t think we are able to succeed there, we are much less likely to take steps that could have led to that end because we believe such steps to be futile. Changing what we think, and by extension, what we believe, is the key to changing our lives and experiencing life at its fullest and happiest and most successful.
This is such an important insight for us all to be reminded of. Thanks for that, Stu!
Ken Wert recently posted..10 Essential Character Traits of Happiness
You got it spot on there Ken, changing what we think leads to change of beliefs. Changes of beliefs lead to changes of actions. And changes of actions leads to change of results.
Thanks for stopping by
Beautifully written. We can choose who we want to be EVERY second of EVERY day. Positive thoughts breed positive action. We have to think it before we can become it. I like what you said about having a Buddha-like expression of content plastered onto their face. I am working very hard at mine.
Lisa H. recently posted..Are You Listening to Me? 7 Tips to Becoming a Good Listener
Thanks for the kind words Lisa!
You’re right, we can raise our awareness of ourselves whenever we choose, and we can be content with who we are. Similarly, we can change who we are for the better by thinking better thoughts
Excellently said Stuart,
Thoughts are the clay which molds our lives. As kids our confidence is amazing. We believe we can fly to the moon, shoot bullets from our eyes, the world is the limit.
Everyone sitting in our dream jobs got there somehow. It’s possible. The problem is the lack of connection between our dream and how to get there.
Many times there are certain network connections that accelerate that process, or certain departments in the company you need to explore as a way to your ultimate end.
I know this post is about more than a job, but these are the thoughts that spurred my mind.
Bryce Christiansen recently posted..4 Confidence Boosting Tips the All-Stars Use
Thanks for adding to the conversation Bryce!
What you said about our dream jobs does ring true, I believe. If we want a dream job, then we have to ask ourselves what it is that constitutes that dream. What would make us happy and fulfilled if we did it on a regular basis?
Take care
Hey Stu,
Great post as usual. Its so true, our thinking and our language determines what we do. If someone tells their friend “I’ll never quit smoking” they probably never will because they don’t think they are able to and they’ve just admitted it to themselves. We are responsible for ourselves, no one else. We can’t blame past events etc, we determine who we are and who we will be. It reminds me of a quote “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, your right.”
We’ll have to speak soon. Take care
Robert recently posted..A month off…
Hey Robert, thanks for the kind words! I believe it was Henry Ford that said that quote, but I’m not entirely sure.
We are responsible for only one person in this world, ourselves. No-one is responsible for us, and we’re not responsible for anyone else. Once we realise this, then we can take action.
Hope everything is good with you
Hey Stu,
I have actually just been reading a book from Jonathan Figaro called “six stupid things people do to mess up their lives.” The book was very interesting, and it helps to understand that everything we do is what we chose to do, and it depends on our thinking and attitude towards life. But also, it’s about working hard, and hustling. I know a lot of people with a great attitude and the “right” thinking, but they’re not interested in working hard to become successful. Adding hard work to the list is important (if we’re talking about success in business).
Great post Stu.
Jens
Jens P. Berget recently posted..How to Focus on Writing When Your Cat is Peeing on the Kitchen Table
Hi Jens, I heard about Jonathan’s book going round, gave him a tweet to support it. I wish him the best, as I know he does some amazing work with his writing.
Hard work is found in thoughts as well as actions – it takes time to mold our thoughts into the kind that we want, but it can be done. We need faith, and belief in our ability to be better people.
Thanks for the comment Jens
This is so true, anyone can do and be anything they want to be. Sometimes it can be harder or easier but it is all very much possible….as they say; the word possible merely says ‘I’m Possible’. There will always be obstacles and such in the way but you just need to get through them and you will be fine.
Hi Gabriella, you got that spot on there – impossible also means “I’m Possible”.
Fantastic way of thinking, thanks for sharing it
Hey Stu,
You summed this whole post up in your last second-last sentence: “Make that decision to really be who you want to be, and take action.” It sounds so simple, but it requires a constant watch on our thoughts, doesn’t it? Changing your thinking changes your life. Now to DO something about it!
Lori
Lori Gosselin recently posted..How Important are First Impressions to You?
Indeed Lori, it’s time to make that change – we can always be better people!
If I summed up the whole post in a sentence, maybe I can edit the rest out?
Hey Stu,
I’m with you man…but not sure I could break it down so eloquently.
We own it. “It” being whatever we want it to be. We can take charge or just go with the flow. Or we can think we are down and out and remain that way. I’ve been waking up every morning and saying “I’m prosperous” for the last year. At first I said it but didn’t really know it I believed it. But now I believe it…and what do you know…I’m becoming more and more prosperous everyday.
We still owe each other a skype session man. Maybe we can make it happen next week.
You knocked this article out of the park. I enjoyed!
PEACE
Jk Allen recently posted..Conversations with Rob: Learning from a Multi-Millionaire
Hey Jk, thanks for stopping by and commenting, I always appreciate it.
It’s one thing to say something like that, but it’s another thing to actually believe it. Once we believe it, we ‘connect’ with it, and that’s when the magic happens!
Brilliant interview with Rob BTW, loved every word of it!
I’m free next week mate, just hook me up and we’ll talk
Hi, Stu.
I totally agree with you. I have always been for not setting limits on myself and the way I think and it has helped me achieve everything that I am enjoying in life right now. I believe that there are limitless possibilities in life, all we have to do is think that they are there and then proceed on doing something that will help us reach out and grab them. Our lives are what we make it, right? And as you said, the first step to making it, is thinking about it. So, here’s to more thinking and making.
You and Sam enjoy your weekend, Stu. Sending you both virtual hugs.
Kim Davies recently posted..The Goodness of Lasagna and 3D Renderings
You’re right there Kim, we can really achieve anything that we want to in life. Not quite everything though, but if we pick out one single thing, we can make it happen.
Thanks for the virtual hugs, sending one back to you *HUG*
Why not me?
That’s the mantra by which I live by Stu. I think I can achieve whatever I want. That no one has gifts like me. And I’m in control. I while back I stopped the doubting, and started embracing my belief in self.
Great stuff Stu.
Marcus
Marcus Sheridan-The Sales Lion recently posted..Timing: The Secret Ingredient of Viral Blogging and Building Authority
Spoken like a true gentleman Marcus, you’re right on the money
Hey Stu, I do think you have to take charge and your mindset, your thoughts do have a big impact on how you view and live your life.
It’s not always easy to be positive if you have no money in your pocket and everyone is telling you ‘no’ at every turn; but your mindset and how you deal with it does impact your chances of rising above it.
This was a very well thought out post Stu and very well done.
Thanks for sharing.
Bill Dorman recently posted..Is 63.5 a good number?
Hey Mr. Dorman, thanks for taking the time out of your busy Sunday to come by, I do appreciate it
Staying positive isn’t always easy, but it helps out in the long run. Being comfortable with positive isn’t a bad place to be
Wise words stu we have to take Charge to move beyond our limits, This makes me want to sing – There ant no stopping us now, were on the Move! – I’m feeling it Stu
Blessing
Be well
Be great
Lloyd Christie recently posted..How to develop a Magnetic Routine
Ha ha, keep singing Lloyd, that’s the way forward!
Thanks for taking the time to stop by today
I totally agree that thinking forms your life. Negative thinking not only makes you feel depressed, but it also causes physical fatigue. If I’m having a bad day, I can immediately turn it around if I stop and change my thinking. Being optimistic makes me happier and more energetic.
Great post Stu!
Marianne Worley recently posted..How to Transform Yourself into a Better Listener
Thanks for stopping by Marianne!
Our thoughts have an effect on our physical well-being, so it only makes sense to try and uplift our minds (along with our bodies) as much as possible
Stu,
This was great. Great! I love that the power that we have to be able to direct our path is determined by the actions we take. It is a matter of choice. I choose to be successful at whatever I put my mind to. This was a very inspirational post and the readers of Ayo’s magazine are in for a treat.
Thanks Frank, I appreciate all the kind words!
Choose life, every time
Stu, Lovely post. You define who you are. if you put your mind to it you will be successful. its your determination that makes you succeed.
Eddie Gear recently posted..Stepping Into StudioPress Child Theme Customization
Thanks Eddie, you said it very well. Can’t add to that at all
Hey Stuart,
Great post. This reminds me of Napoleon Hill, who demonstrated that you need to think in order to grow rich (and there are many riches, not just monetary). You need to decide what you want, then get a burning desire for it through repeated daily auto-suggestion. Of course, you need the right plan of action validated by your Mastermind Group. And you need to track your progress and improve on your plan if needed.
I find that negative thoughts will keep popping up – we all have obstacles in our path, temporary failures,… I believe it’s important to interrupt those negative thoughts as fast as possible, and replace them with more empowering ones.
Abraham Hicks summarized it as “Get Happy”.
NLP is also an interesting topic to study to master your thoughts and your outcome. I’m sure you know Tony Robbins.
Matt recently posted..Jazz… And Effective Meetings?
Hey Matt, great to see you here! I trust everything is well with you?
Think And Grow Rich is an excellent book, one of the first that really got me into personal development, so I completely agree with what he says. Desire, faith, and the right kind of thinking, all add up to push you in the right direction.
And yes, I know Tony Robbins – I have one of his books which I’ve yet to read
Shifting our thinking may be one of the hardest things we ever do.. However, we must shift our thinking because until we do, we are giving all of our power away. Thankfully, it is our choice how to respond in any given situation. It is our choice where we put our focus, attention, energy, resources and time. Each and every one of us can let go of all that no longer serves us and take our power back. We simply need the tools that will allow us to separate our emotions.
Radhel Lavern recently posted..The Missing Link in Positive Affirmations
Hi Radhel, welcome to Unlock the Door, and thanks for providing such an awesome comment!
Making changes to our thinking can be difficult, especially if we’re used to the same ways of thinking for years. But it can be done, with persistence, willpower, and determination. The rewards at the end of it, despite being hidden to begin with, are certainly worth it
This is such an energizing post, Stu! =) No wonder I’ve been seeing you all over the blogging world these days — your energy is refreshing and contagious! =) And how inspiring to think that we can truly do and be whatever we desire in life.
I recently put together my own vision board and it’s been working wonders. I love the idea of keeping my dreams at the forefront of my mind this way. I’m such a visual learner, so it really helps me believe! =)
Great post, Stu! =) So glad we’re in touch. =)
Samantha Bangayan recently posted..Before the World Ends: The Earthquake in Peru
Hey Samantha, I’m so glad you loved this post, makes my heart sing!
I’ll keep going around the blogging lands, I don’t plan on stopping
Take care, and thanks for commenting
Aww, what a cute little penguin! Have you ever seen the youtube of the one that goes shopping for its owners? He walks into town with a little backpack and the local fisher feeds him and puts a couple in the pack “to go.” Now THAT’S a great example of choosing to be different.
~Natasha
I think I have seen that clip Natasha, he’s quite a penguin!
He’s more obedient than me anyway, I’d end up going home and cooking the fish for myself instead
hi stuart
thanks for contributing to this month’s edition of the magazine.
i really appreciate it.
Reading this reminded me of the risks i have taken/is still taking with reference to being or doing anything i feel so strongly about.
while i am still evolving each day, week, months, years in doing things or achieving a few things, I’ve only dreamed of, i recognise there is a process and it’s reflected in your suggestions ‘moving beyond your limits’ and taking charge.
some times I’ve failed terribly, become so discouraged ,but i have learnt from it and on several occasions changed directions and tried out new things/ideas believing there’s no harm in putting the efforts
thanks for sharing.
take care
ayo recently posted..The Nineteenth Edition Of The Life Skills Magazine Is Out Now!!
Hey Ayo, it was my pleasure to contribute to Life Skills, as always. Any time amigo!
Yes, sometimes we do fail, and it hurts at the time, but we shouldn’t let it discourage us in the long-term. Failure is temporary, but taking charge can last a lifetime.
Thanks Ayo
Hey Stu, thanks for the great post. There are so many things that have to come together to create success, and it can seem very daunting… but definitely worth it if you can keep going.
First you have to choose what you want; then keep focusing all of your thoughts and attention on what you want; then take action; if you hit a hurdle you need to correct your course and take action again. All the while continuing to focus like a laser beam on your goal.
It is a long road, but the journey is worth it to get to the result that you desire.
Andrew | Self Help Products recently posted..Mind Movies Reviews: How To Ramp Up Your Visualization
Hi Andrew, thanks for stopping by today!
You pretty much summed it up there, choosing what we want to do, then charging down there with all our might. Even when we come up short, we have to keep going.
Thanks for the great comment
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