“I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.” – Eartha Kitt
I have a confession to make.
Yes, that’s right, another confession. Not long after my previous confession, about a week in fact, I return with a new insight and a new confession.
You see, on the 5th March, I wrote a post which detailed my struggles with blog commenting, and my new plan for Unlock The Door, as well as for commenting and guest posts. I recommend you read it here, so that you gain a little backstory.
Now, this plan of mine, whilst a brilliant idea at the time, was flawed. I’m going to report back after a week and say that it hasn’t worked. I know it’s only a week, and I know that I was trumpeting it as a master-plan, but I’m not afraid to admit that it hasn’t worked out. I see now that there were faults in my plan that were starting to hinder my websites’ progress, even after a week.
What bought about this realisation was a post over at The Sales Lion, run by Marcus Sheridan. You can read it in full here, but he basically talked about his experiences with blogging, and how networking helped his website grow into what it is today. It’s a strong article, but that’s not why I mention it. I mention it because it resonated with me. As I read it, I could feel myself wondering why I had let my networking standards drop so much. I wondered, how come I’ve decided to effectively cut off one of the most important elements of blogging? In short, what had happened?
The Main Flaw
The main flaw was this; by saying that I’d leave a comment on your blog IF you commented on my blog, I was blind to the real value of the law of reciprocity. In order to get, you have to give first. Lord knows I’ve preached it enough times in my own writing, yet I was still ignorant of this fact when applied to my own website! This law applies to everything in life, and it’s all about providing value to others. You have to let others know that you’re there for them, and that you have their best interests at heart. Not your best interests, but their best interests. Otherwise, they’ll be reluctant to give to you when they feel you might not have deserved it.
Giving always comes before getting, not afterwards.
This is the basic idea of networking; you drop by someones’ place, get to know them with a comment, or an e-mail, do something good and helpful for them, and the relationship has started. It’s like a new neighbour moving in from across the road. Once they’ve arrived, you go over and introduce yourself, chat a little, and offer them a helping hand if they need it. That’s networking in action, and it follows the basic rule of giving before getting. I can’t say that enough.
What I’ve Discovered
I have discovered some good things about my plan. For one, the level of writing has gone up. Now that I was producing an article every two days, I was forcing myself to think of new ideas to write about, as well as maintain the level of content, and I think I pulled it off in that respect. I’ve regained my enthusiasm for writing, and I’m enjoying the whole process of sitting down in front of my laptop and thrashing out 1000 words on personal development and self help.
Another good thing I’ve discovered is that I’ve been able to produce the level of discipline required to write a new post every day, whether it’s for my own website or for someone else. This is important to me, because if I can maintain the discipline required to consistently write, then I can use that discipline for other factors of life that require focus and willpower, both online and offline.
Now, onto the downsides. As I mentioned earlier, my networking standards have suffered, but I’ve also discovered two other things have started to creep in, which I really don’t like. The first one I noticed was that my page views were starting to drop. I usually get about 70 views per day, but this has since dropped to around 40-45 views, and has stayed there for the past couple of days. Usually, if I leave blog comments then I’ll get referrals leading back to my website, and this helps with the stats, but of course, less comments mean less referrals, which mean less views. Go figure.
The second downside was that the number of comments for each post has dropped. To begin with, the numbers were OK, but for the last two posts, I’ve only had six comments for one, and only two for the other. This is very poor for this website, which can regularly attract 15 comments for each post. Again, this is the flaw of the ‘I’ll comment IF you comment first’ philosophy. Why should I expect others to go out of their way to comment on my work, if I can’t be bothered to comment on their work?
So now, after summing up why this plan is flawed, it’s time to dispose of it, and install a new plan.
Master-Plan Version 2.0
Before I share what this plan will be, I must point out that it isn’t really a ‘master-plan’. It may fail just as easily as the master-plan I created a week ago, it may not. But I don’t try to put it into action, then I’ll never know, so I must bite the bullet and admit that it’s time for a change in strategy.
Monday: Blog comments (ideally 10), reply to comments on my posts
Tuesday: Guest post OR any other website work
Wednesday: Blog comments (ideally 10), reply to comments on my posts
Thursday: New post on Unlock The Door
Friday: Blog comments (ideally 10), reply to comments on my posts
Saturday: Guest post OR any other website work
Sunday: New post on Unlock The Door
As you can see, this plan is a lot more detailed and specific than the previous plan, which is why I immediately like it more. This plan also means that I know EXACTLY what I’m doing on each day, except Tuesday and Saturday, but they’ll be guest post writing unless anything important pops up. I’m actually pretty excited to implement this plan, and come next week, I’m anticipating an increase in my networking whilst maintaining my content. How can argue with that?
Final Thoughts
I share all of this with you for two reasons. First, I believe that it’s important for a blogger who’s trying to connect with their audience, to be as open and honest as possible. I have made the decision not to hold anything back; I won’t lie about my experiences to make myself seem like a big-shot, and I won’t cover up any mistakes I make because they might seem ugly. What you get when you click onto my website is me, as much of me as I can muster. You deserve nothing less.
Second, I believe that what I’ve gone through, is proof that you must try and fail. If you don’t try then you won’t get anywhere, but if you fail, then at least you know more about your journey and what you must do. If I hadn’t have tried the original master-plan, I’d still be frustrated with my excessive time on blog comments, and not enough time writing. But I tried something new, it didn’t work, and now I can learn from it and try something better. This is what failure’s all about, to help you try better options until you find one that truly works. Otherwise, you won’t learn, you won’t grow, and you won’t become the best that you can possibly be.
Take care everyone 
Image courtesy of dave
{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
Stu,
I have massive respect for you and finding the holes in your own theory and plan and filling them in. You’re adjusting on-the-fly and hey, a week IS enough for you to notice where you’re weakness(es) are. Good job, man, I wish you the best adhering to the new plan.
It’s refreshing to read someone who has committed to delivering as much “them” as they can muster. I appreciate you. Also, you’ve inspired me (again) to make sure my goals for this week are more measurable. Press on!
Jon
Thanks Jon, I wanted to share this because I want to help others with their goals, as well as gain some ‘therapy’ out of it. Nothing better than being open and admitting your flaws
That’s some good thought. If you stop leaving comments, your page views drop. So, one good way to do it is write Ezine Articles. They are general and they generate page views for maybe, lifetime. If you are planning to do business in here, this is something you should consider doing for sure.
Ezine is a possibility Jaky, I’d have to sit down and take everything into consideration, with regards to what I wanted to do. But thanks for bringing this to my attention
Stu, this is wonderful news my friend. I must be honest with you– When I read your original ‘masterplan plan’ post I got a little nervous for you. Why? Because of exactly what you were describing above. The reality is that you and I and anyone else in a self-improvement type of niche like this one is going to have to spend some serious time building relationships until the breakthrough starts. For each person, that varies, but the key is BALANCE, which is what is so great about this new plan– It’s got just that.
Personally, I like you having 2 posts a week. I subscribe to lots of blogs and like to comment on the people I really care about, but when they post too much, then it ain’t quite possible.
But the plan you’ve now discussed seems to really address all facets of becoming great, which is where I know you’ll ultimately end up, if you but stay the course.
I believe in you and your talents Stu. This new schedule will work bud.
Best.
Marcus
Define posting too much, Marcus?
In case Marcus doesn’t reply, I’ll venture out and say that my definition of posting too much is when you start to lose time for other things. As I said in the post, content is one thing, but networking is just as important. Balance of all important aspects is key
Thanks for all your support and wisdom Marcus. I’d always appreciate honesty, no matter how hard it may sound, and I know you’ll deliver the goods everytime.
You’re right, the keyword is BALANCE. With no balance, how can you reach the top, when you’re more likely to fall?
Stu, I also thought a lot about what you (and I) had discussed about our fear of spreading ourselves too thin in our blog commenting. I told you I had to find some similar plans for much of the same reason, but inside I wrestled with the very thing you have been. I didn’t want to ignore other blogs just because they maybe didn’t comment on every single post I made. That’s not fair either. I mean, maybe something I blogged about didn’t apply to them. Completely possible for a life development blog.
Also, I genuinely like a lot of blogs whose authors don’t necessarily respond to my own. I get some very creative ideas from some of these guys. Why would I want to stop that?
I think we definitely have to have boundaries so we’re not spreading ourselves too thin. For me, that is looking to be a day less blogging in each week. Now, instead of three blogs a week, I’m having to switch to 2 for the time being. I think this change will help me not to get in over my head.
Thanks for posting. And thanks for being willing to admit when something doesn’t work out the way we plan. Happens to all of us!
No worries Bryan, I’m happy that this resonated with you so much! It’s amazing that we could be going through similar situations, but I’m sure a lot of bloggers have experienced the same thing in the past. Especially the highly successful ones!
I hope your plan of 2 posts a week works out, and if there’s one more thing I can say to help, it’s that you shouldn’t be afraid to ditch an idea. No matter how successful it’s been in the past, if it’s no longer successful now, then get rid of it. Why keep climbing a ladder up the wrong building?
Hey Stu,
Looks like you have learned a valuable lesson. I think I’m going through the same issue of doing enough blog commenting. For me I write far more than anything else. Like I would write all day long if I could. I’m trying to dedicate some time out of two days in the week to do some blog commenting.
Blog commenting brings me more traffic then I thought it would. When I first started blogging I was doing a lot of blog commenting, because I had less on my plate without the writing jobs. Now when I leave comments I try to make them worth while. Not just say a sentence then move on to the next blog.
In the end the more you put into anything is the more your going to get back out of it. If you really feel that you keep pushing yourself to work harder, then you will keep recieving more & more benefits.
Just my 2 cents.
God bless,
William Veasley
Completely agree William, it’s important to not only comment, but to leave worthwhile comments that add value to the post. Thanks for the wise words
Stu – I love that set it and quickly went back to recalibrate. I think there’s a power into blog commenting that we sometimes, after awhile, forget about. Unlike the physical world where we speak, email and personally associate with with our network – the way we do it often times online is through our commenting. It’s time consuming, but has the ability to pay of serious rewards. With that said – I find it important to spend a considerable amount of time (even if I don’t have it) continuing to develop relationships and pay for the value I get in blogs with my heartfelt comments.
Have a great week Stu! I’ll be back on Thursday (or whenever you drop your next post!).
PEACE
I completely agree Jk, I didn’t realise the power of blog commenting until I heavily cut down on it. Now, I can see that it’s the standard tool of networking and shouldn’t be disregarded. In a way, I’m glad that I realised this, as it’s enabled me to forge a new plan based on my accumulated wisdom.
Thanks for the wise words man, my next post will be definitely be Thursday. See you then!
Hey Stu – important post here… the way I’ve approached blogging is to serve and give more than anyone could possibly give back. I’ve done that in business in general. I may not always come out on the top of that spectrum, but I’m certainly right there with the best of them — and it has always paid of handsomely.
There’s not really anything anyone can say to me that really moves me much… because I know I’ve out-given most. I’m not a great connection because I’m the smartest guy in the community – the value I have to offer is my support, my effort and my sincere desire to be of service. It’s hard to find people like us – I love our community and the people we’re connected to because they have a very similar mindset. It’s not something read about; their actions speak much louder than words ever could.
The more people I can help, the more successful I will become – this has always been my experience – and it just works for me. I like to help others. I like to help others succeed. I like to bring the best out in people and that requires a heart to serve others.
Keep going Stu – you have a combination most people don’t possess; serious skill and a big heart
Thanks Mark, I appreciate the kind words! You’ve got an awesome way of telling these things, really enjoy reading your comments
I have come to the same conclusion as you have, Stu. The less comments I have left on other blogs, the less I receive on mine. It’s rather discouraging, because I am never sure how often people are actually reading my site because there is no feedback or sharing happening.
I like the guidelines you have listed here and I hope to implement a similar system on my blog (which mentions you on Tuesday!). I want to devote more time to commenting, and tweeting with people to build stronger relationships online. It’s the only way my blog will ever survive.
Thanks for commenting on my blog and allowing me to discover you. If you ever have an itch to write something that wouldn’t fit on your site, let me know. I’ve been thinking about having guest posts on my blog for a while.
Hi James, thanks for dropping by! I actually came across your site through Marcus (The Sales Lion), and it was a pleasure to read your work. You’ve got some serious skill
I’d be interested in writing a guest post for you man, I’ll drop you a line on Saturday, as that is my next ‘guest post’ day now
very good plan Stu
i used to ignore commenting for a while and i paid the price, now i do it everyday
Definitely Farouk, sometimes it take failure to realise the missing ingredient for success
I like the idea of giving in order to receive! Help others get what they want, and you’ll receive what you want too! I’m also happy to hear that you came up with a plan, and stuck to it…found that it didn’t work as planned, and updated the plan, and continued! So many people would just give up after a temporary setback!
Keep up the great work Stu!
Also if you get a chance, check out my podcast on persistence http://bit.ly/hxVm6r
That’s the shame of it Mike, a lot of people would come across a setback and then say “it wasn’t meant to be”. I wanted to keep moving forward, so I altered the plan to create a much better one. Win all round
Stu,
This is something that I have been struggling with recently. I understand how commenting builds community and I have seen the benefits immediately after I put a more structured commenting practice into place. On the other hand I am not a person who comments for backlinks I want to comment because something I read added value to my life. I actually read what the people have written. I think sometimes we forget about that as bloggers.
It’s not about comments it’s about community. I want to be a part of a group of people who want to encourage and help one another get better. It’s just that simple to me. I know using your structured approach you will now have a better chance to meet more people and get better and better as the years go by.
Thanks for sharing this Stu.
I think you’ve summed up why I’m doing this Frank. I want this to get better, so I created this new plan with the long-term in mind. It’s a system and a schedule, designed to last me for the months and years. Thanks for your great insight Frank
Hi Stuart,
Glad you are going to back to commenting full time
Commenting does take a lot of time Stuart, but it is crucial for building relationships. Not only that, but readers from other blogs discover your site that way as well. Thanks for sharing 
Exactly Dia, commenting on new sites means new comments on yours. And everyone loves that
I’m glad you were able to test and recognize the seemingly flaws in your first plan, Stu. Like you said, if you cannot try and test new things you’ll end up stagnating and not having accomplished anything. It’s all about always being a student of the industry and taking a good note of how things work. Believe it or not, there was a lot of psychology in the first plan you sent out that projected what some of your feelings may have been that perhaps did not resonate with some people and therefore visits declined. I’m always pretty amazed at what I can learn about human interactions and what gets people to act certain ways, even on a virtual platform such as this one!
Anyway, don’t think that I was one of those people. I know I’ve been absent for some time but it was due to a hand injury that I suffered that made it hard for me to get online and actually type. It’s amazing how injuring one hand can have such an impact on your daily activities. Anyway, I’m getting back to normal and will be around more.
PS: You should visit IEC and check out the new theme if you have not done so already! Let me know what you think.
Hi Hector, thanks for the quality comment! No worries about not visiting, setbacks always pop up, it’s cool
There probably was vibes I was sending out, saying that I don’t need community as much. It was naive looking back at it, but at the time I thought it was an excellent idea. This is what experience teaches us, we learn from our attempts, no matter how good or bad they are.
Heading over to IEC now mi amigo
haha.. Awesome! Thanks man!
Hi Stu,
I’ve seen you around the blogosphere and thought I’d come and see what you were up to. Seems we started blogging at about the same time (you Oct ’10, me Nov’10) so I’m facing similar issues; WHAT TO DO to balance the whole thing!
I like your plan. I agree that you support first and then receive support. I enjoy my forays into the blogosphere where I find inspiration and encouragement and laughs – what a great place this is. I comment when I feel moved to, and feel I can add something to the conversation.
It’s a huge learning curve, isn’t it!? I started with three posts per week and changed after a month and a half to two. And as for the ratio between writing and visiting/commenting….still working on that! Fun, isn’t it!?
Nice to meet you Stu!
Lori
Hey Lori, great to meet you, and welcome to Unlock The Door!
Life is one long journey, one long diploma, hence the Eartha Kitt quote. There’s no point where we stop learning, we just keep moving and growing until the end of our days
“till the end of our days”!?!? THAT long! Yeah, sometimes I have trouble with that one. I keep looking to arrive “there”! But I guess that’s what the present moment is – an arrival place.
Thanks for coming to Life,forinstance Stu!
Happy Friday!
Lori
Very true, the present moment is always with us, so we should never ignore it.
Thanks for the comment Lori
Great article Stuart. Love the honesty! You are right we have to give out without expecting anything back. Give because that is what our heart tells us to do. When it comes to the comments my problem is I have trouble figuring out all the technical stuff, so I can make it easier for myself. I think I really do it the hard way.
I like your plan and thanks very much for sharing it. Have a great day and evening Debbie
Thanks Debbie, I hope my plan serves me well and keeps me structured throughout my days! Take care
Hi Stuart,
I love the schedule – you’re a man after my own list-loving heart!
I can really appreciate your attempts at having a workable plan for posting, commenting and networking. It’s something I have struggled with since the beginning of my blogging journey. Because of a commitment to not open my computer when my daughters are at home and awake, my computer time is currently extremely limited and the slivers of time I do get are usually devoted to writing a new post. It’s a conundrum, though, because as you noted in your experiment with a different schedule, when you don’t comment much on others’ blogs, it decreases the traffic to your own blog. So for me, it’s either I write new posts and get very few or no comments because I don’t make the rounds, or I make time to do the rounds and then not have time to write anything new very often. Oy, it’s exhausting just thinking about it!
For right now, I’ve accepted that things are what they are, and when both my daughters are in school during the day (next fall), I’ll have more time to devote to blogging and all that goes with it. But for now, it’s good to know that I’m not the only one that struggles with this sort of thing. Thanks for a great post!
Hey Tisha, try not to get yourself exhausted about it. If you find yourself with little time, then just focus on the most important task and get that done. If you still have time, focus on the next-most important task, and so on.
I think we all struggle with structuring ourselves, but it’s perserverance that pays off. Thanks for the comment!
Stu,
What I most love about your writing is how you just put it out there man! You have captured the essence of a true personal development blog because you make your own development so transparent.
And I love your neighbor analogy….that was really on point! Relationships are relationships, regardless of the setting.
Do I think your new schedule will work?…absolutely! But I think the most important thing is that you have re-discovered your passion for people and relationships in the ‘community’.
Great post Stuart!!!
Exactly Jason, I realised that I needed to re-discover why I’m blogging in the first place; not because of the writing, but because I’m connecting with like-minded individuals.
Thanks man, appreciate it
The master plan version 2.0 is something that I never heard of. However I am impressed by your plan. You have scheduled blogging as you would a day in your life. Proper planning will definitely help.
Ranjith recently posted..The rise and fall of hopes
Thanks for the comment Ranjith!
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