“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.” – Nora Roberts
*NOTE: Please check out my guest post for Kaarina Dillabough!*
The wheels roll on.
The wagon rolls into town, picking up more and more passengers and hitch-hikers who are desperate to get on board. They tweet with their Blackberrys, they ‘Like’ with their I-Phones, and they make sure that they don’t miss a thing. Have you heard the news? If you don’t, you’ll get left behind!
Then, a solitary man hops on board the wagon, opens up his laptop, and calmly begins writing an article based on what the bandwagon is all about.
That’s right, Stuart Mills has officially jumped on the bandwagon.
Have You Heard What Everyone Is Tweeting About?
In case you haven’t, like, oh my god, where have you been?! Seriously, it’s been popular news that Mila Kunis, the famous actress who enjoys World of Warcraft, has recently been asked out on a date to the Marine Corps ball in North Carolina, on November 18th, by Sergeant Scott Moore of the Marine Forces. In case you haven’t heard, or have no idea what I’m on about, here’s the video of Sergeant Moore’s invite:
Marine asks Mila Kunis out on a date
Stu, What’s Going On?
You may now be wondering why I have decided to dedicate my time and efforts to writing about something which, quite frankly, isn’t related to personal development whatsoever. And that’s cool if you do think that, because it means that you’ve come to expect a high standard of me, which I’m happy to try and live up to.
There’s two reasons why I’m doing this today. The first is because I want to see whether my SEO skills are up to scratch and link this post to the search engines in the hopes that I get more traffic. It worked when I wrote a post about the New Year in December (the day of publishing was the highest traffic day for four months), and I’m hoping it will work again here. But the second reason why I’m doing this, and to be honest, the real reason why I’m doing this, is because of the Sergeant in question.
The Sergeant impressed me.
He impressed me because he shown the one thing, the one trait that will help to push your life to the next level, whether it be in business, your personal life, your fitness, or anything else that you choose to do. He showed he had courage. He showed he had guts.
In other words, he’s got balls.
If You Don’t Ask…
Every day, we all hear the same things from our family, or our friends, or just random people on the streets. We hear of them never seeming to get a break. We hear of the failures they carry around with them. We hear of their depressions and their decision to resign to their fate. A lot of negativity can get spewed out in the world, but a lot of it can be remedied with the same theory that Sergeant Moore put into action.
If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
How many wasted chances and ideas have we had in the past that, if we applied this principle, they’d be put into action? How much more confident we’d be if we had the bravery to actually work on those grand dreams that we regularly visualise, but never actually do anything about?
I can think of many times in the past where I ought to have asked someone, but instead I declined to do so because I was too afraid they’d say “no”, or that they were too big for me at the time. Well, I’ve learned this from experience now, but if you fear the same things that I did, then I can only give this advice – don’t. Why fear? Why not try? What’s stopping you from trying? Is the fear bigger and stronger than the will to succeed?
Sergeant Moore’s invite to Mila Kunis was bold, courageous, and slightly extreme. And it worked. It’s like me asking Seth Godin if I could guest post on his blog one day. Now there’s a thought…
Learn From Moore
Even though I’d never heard of him before, and I doubt I’ll ever meet the guy, Sergeant Scott Moore has taught me one important lesson. If you don’t try, if you don’t put yourself out there, if you don’t swallow your fear and step out into the unknown, then you won’t move, you’ll stay where you are, and you’ll get left behind.
Be daring. Ask. Try.
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Image courtesy of The Inquisitr
{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }
That’s cool little post Stu and I can appreciate the sentiment. I’ve been going through a really rough patch of late. They’ve put me back on anti-depressants and referred me for CBT. It transpires that I have almost no self-esteem, and this realisation was pretty shocking to me because it’s staggeringly obvious and it had genuinely never dawned on me how big an issue it was. Anyway, I guess that means I too am starting out on the path of personal development. Seems a little daunting…
Hey Mike, great to see you at my humble home again
Sorry to hear about the recent events, hopefully the CBT can work out for you. The personal development path can be a lot of fun at times, and challenging at other times, but the key is to have patience. Take it all in your stride
Hey Stuart,
I didn’t have any idea about this; but seriously this man has courage! Nicely spoken. I think we fail to lose out on so many opportunities in life just because of our inner fears, the fear of failure as we know it; the truth remains that we think of ourselves as too inferior. No one, I mean no one in incapable and that is something we should learn to believe more often!
Loved it!
Your post at Kaarina is awesome! I disagreed there, so please don’t ban me here
Hope you have a lovely weekend!
Hajra recently posted..Fridays will be Different…Thanks to Dorman, Bill Dorman!
Hey Hajra, thanks – the marine had guts indeed!
As I said at Kaarina’s, don’t apologise – part of blogging is to disagree at points, but still keep a great relationship. I’d like to think that we’ve managed that with my GP
What an uplifting story.
So many people myself included shoo away opportnities because we think the outcome will be negative. Fear can be a scary thing. this guy just went for it and that’s awesome.
cheers,
Annie
Annie Andre recently posted..My Location Independent Business Toolkit: Not your typical home business: Video
Hey Annie, fear is scary, no doubt about it. We regularly have to pluck up courage to overcome fear, and it’s always difficult. But that’s part of life – the struggle to get past fear.
If we can move beyond fear on a regular basis, we’re doing something right
Guess the truism is..if it’s worth doing, it’s worth asking i.e. it’s all about worth. He must have bundles of the self stuff Stuart. Good luck to the guy. Ok, here goes….anyone got Kylie’s phone number????
John Sherry recently posted..How Naked Are You?
I don’t have Kylie’s phone number John, but I could always ask
Worth is the keyword, definitely. If it’s worth doing, then go for it!
Great meeting up with you today
Hey Stu,
Great article my man!
You have to read on to understand the point and that’s a good thing. There are many times that I have been too scared to act when deep down inside I really really wanted too. When I first started my blogging journey I never imagined I’d have the writing skills to guest write on other blogs. I was even more afraid to ask some of the bigger name blogs, because I thought they would laugh at my proposal.
If I never ask, or take that first step then i’ll never progress. You can never be afraid of getting rejected.
Thanks again!
God bless,
William Veasley
William Tha Great recently posted..Why Succeeding Is Believing?
Great comment William! We’re scared to act at times, especially when it involves something that we’re not entirely comfortable with ie something that’s new.
But the best thing we can do is ignore the scared thoughts in our heads, and go do that scary thing! Take the first step, as you said
Hey Stu,
Many times after you take that first step you realize it wasn’t as difficult as you thought. The fact that it wasn’t as hard as you thought gives you more confidence to step outside your boundaries. Confidence in ourselves is something we could all use more of!
Thanks again!
God bless,
William Veasley
William Tha Great recently posted..Hey, I Found A Penny!
It’s that realisation isn’t it? That it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. We build it up in our minds so much, it becomes heavily distorted from actual reality.
Thanks for the extra insight William
Stuart: It seems that the cure would be to not distort your possibility of succeeding before you give yourself the chance. When things are a bit difficult you can usually break it down into smaller steps. You have to be determined not to let failure keep you from find a way.
God bless,
William Veasley
William Tha Great recently posted..Hey, I Found A Penny!
Hey Stu,
I like this, both your testing of SEO skills and your gleaning the personal development story out of the news. I’d SAY he had guts – to ask so publicly. Maybe he thought he had nothing to lose because he came out as courageous anyway?
I’m stepping out – taking the leap – fighting the fight! Stay tuned!
Great post Stu!
Lori
Lori Gosselin recently posted..Past, Present, Future: Where Do You Spend Your Time?
I’m glad to hear you’re ready to fight the good fight Lori! Looking forward to seeing what the ‘stepping out Lori’ has got in store
Very well said Stu; I mean what’s the worst that can happen, your arm fall off or something? Of course not; nothing ventured, nothing gained. And you are so correct, if you never ask the answer will always be ‘no’.
Trust me, been there done that and have kicked myself for missed opportunities just because I never made the ask. Also in my business of sales, you are afraid to ask the ‘hard’ questions because you think it will lead to a ‘no’. In my experience it’s best to go ahead and get those out early so you don’t waste each other’s time.
Very appropriate and very well done Stu; this was a good one.
Bill Dorman recently posted..Take me to your leader
I agree Bill, what’s the worst that can happen? In this case, Mila would never have heard of the video, and nothing would have happened. Not too horrible really!
Hope you’re enjoying your weekend amigo
Hey Bill,
I think we have all missed out on some bright opportunities, because we were too afraid of rejection. I think you must learn to use rejection as fueling to better yourself in the area’s you experienced rejection. You might get rejected once and someone love your ideas. Not everyone is always going to have your same outlook.
Would you not agree?
p.s awesome comment!
God bless,
William Veasley
William Tha Great recently posted..Hey, I Found A Penny!
I concur; sometimes uncomfortable but better than always wondering ‘what if’, huh?
And most of the time, the person is not rejecting you personally so you need to get out of that mindset too.
Thanks for jumping in.
Bill Dorman recently posted..Take me to your leader
Great points added here! I love it when mini-conversations get started
Bill: Thanks for taking the time to respond to my comment much appriecated. Sitting around wondering, “what if” will make you go crazy. I just rather get a rejection then sitting around making driving myself crazy.
You have a very good point! I just got rejected recently, but I didn’t take it personally. I just have to keep trying and hope for the best you know?
Keep working hard!
God bless,
William Veasley
William Tha Great recently posted..Hey, I Found A Penny!
Great story Stu. I saw this mentioned briefly on the news, but didn’t know any of the details.
I know a lot of people (some I’m closely related to) who refuse to ask for anything. They expect others to read their minds and “volunteer” to help them. Are they afraid to hear the word “no”? Probably.
If hearing “no” is the worst thing that can happen, then it’s worth it to take the “risk.” For example, when I got laid off in December, I asked human resources, very directly and politely, if they would extend my severance pay and health insurance for 2 more weeks. I had nothing to lose, but everything to gain. I didn’t get the severance, but my health insurance question was successful.
It’s just like you said: If you don’t ask, you don’t get. Thanks so much for sharing!
Marianne Worley recently posted..How to Make Good Decisions When Your Problems Suck
I know what you mean Marianne, some people will wait and wait for people to give them a hand, yet it never comes. The world won’t do them a favour if they do nothing!
Interesting story about your extended pay, some people would never have asked that question, perhaps thinking they were unworthy. Well, I don’t think anyone is unworthy, we’re worthy of everything
I have never heard this story before now Stuart, but the underlying message means alot. Sort of fits a recent message I received the other day. I do much intuitive work and also work closely with the Divine. My dilemma was….do I try this? OR do I try that? The answer was this…”The situation is already resolved…all you have to do is take action. The right door will open when it is supposed to. Worrying about what action to take or the HOW is not going to speed up matters….Just DO”
Kenya recently posted..Self Worth Series: Distorted Perceptions
Hey Kenya, thanks for sharing your story! Interesting to hear about it, the right door was meant for you, and you had the foresight to recognise it.
Just get out there and do it
Wonderful story! “If you don’t ask, you don’t get.” – so true so true! I can only agree on that…
Nella recently posted..Zahnimplantate für Ihre fehlende Zähne
Hey Nella, welcome to Unlock The Door!
Thanks for the comment, and I love your gravatar
Stu,
You are so right. You will miss 100% of the shots that you don’t take. This is something that I am currently working on. I have allowed fear to prevent me from raising my hand and saying that I need help. Only action is rewarded.
I hope your link strategy works again.
Lisa H. recently posted..You Don’t Gotta Struggle No More: Get Out of Jail Free
Hey Lisa, welcome to Unlock The Door!
That quote always has an effect on me, so true. Thoughts themselves don’t have results, only the actions do. Actions get you closer to your goals, thoughts just think about it
Stuart, this is just a smacking good post – I loved it! I get this and boy oh boy do I need to practice this! “Be daring. Ask. Try.” “Be daring. Ask. Try.” “Be daring. Ask. Try.” I think I’m going to enlist the help of my sweet Eve to sing this little ditty with me daily until I get it!
Thanks for weaving a good post together … very sharp indeed sir!
Have a fantabulous weekend!
Elena
Elena Patrice recently posted..Do-It-Yourself Website Facts.
Nice one Elena, sounds like you’ve got a little mantra going on there!
Hope you’re having a great weekend yourself
Hi Stu,
Good luck Sergeant. After having combat experience and understanding what’s really to fear in life this might a little easier for him.
Riley
Riley Harrison recently posted..KILLING TIME SHOULD BE A FELONY
I think on reflection Riley, if I was facing death on a regular basis, I’d be able to handle Mila Kunis
Hey stuart,
This is a very nice story! Sometimes fears can hold us back in what we want to be, which causes a person to be more negative! As your segerant spoke, a person can get left behind due to their deep fears of not moving foward in what they love to do!
Thanks for sharing!
Tyler J.Logan recently posted..How to find your happiness
Hey Tyler, welcome to Unlock The Door!
Fear causes us to be negative, that’s true. It prevents us from moving forward. Only courage, which overcomes fear, can move you forward.
Thanks for the comment
Stu: Really interesting post. I think you are right that he showed us all that we have to go after what we want and be willing to take chances. That is something we can all apply in so many ways. We have to be confident, bold and brave and go for what we want. How will you ever get to where you want to be if you don’t try. Great message.
Sibyl recently posted..What You Really Need to Know to Deal with Difficult People
Great to see you here again Sibyl!
We must be willing to take chances if we want success, and we must be willing to see those chances fail. Once prepared, we can venture out, take those chances, and eventually see the reward come our way
Hi Stu,
I actually had no idea what you were talking about, and that’s because I’m right now living in a tent without electricity or online access (I’m at the public library). So, that’s my excuse
On the other hand, I fully agree with you. If you don’t ask, you won’t get a thing (the same goes with your question for Seth Godin). I have seen a lot of similar videos from romantic guys doing everything in their power to impress (very beautiful) girls. I have no idea if it worked every single time, but hey, if they didn’t do it, they sure wouldn’t be getting sexy women like that (ordinary men needs to do extraordinary things to get beautiful women)
Jens
Jens P. Berget recently posted..Benefits of Blogging While on Vacation (my experience from four weeks living in a tent without electricity)
Jens, it’s great to see you again! I hope your electricity-free vacation was enjoyable/enlightening?
Extraordinary things have the potential to achieve extraordinary results. Sometimes, they fall flat on their face, but it’s the trying that matters. Showing a willingness to do exceptional things will not go unnoticed
Thanks again, Stu, for guest posting over at my place. I really appreciate it!
I love that Sgt. Moore did the ask…and in a most engaging video, I might add!
My thoughts:
Always do the ask.
Expect the best.
Deal with whatever the outcome of the ask is…good, bad or indifferent.
I think it was Wayne Gretzky who said “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Take the shot(s). Cheers! Kaarina
Kaarina Dillabough recently posted..I pledge to tell the truth
It was my pleasure to guest post Kaarina! Anytime!
Your thoughts are good ones indeed, expect the best and give the best that you can, and then deal with whatever the outcome is.
Thanks for the quote, it always inspires me
that’s so true stu
i was just writing an article about self confidence and i said that many people lack confidence because they never allow them themselves to try, they just remain in their comfort zone
amazing as usual, thanks mate
Thanks Farouk, glad you liked the read!
You’re right, if people allowed themselves to try more often, they’d be amazed with the results
Hi Stu,
Fortune favours the bold. Some of the greatest people who influenced the course of history were extremely bold. We need only consider the examples of Alexander the Great and Napoleon Bonaparte. That’s not to say that we take crazy risks with no hope of victory or success at all. Rather we assess the situation and if there is a slight chance that we might succeed, we go all out to seize that chance. There are less regrets living life this way.
Irving the Vizier
The Vizier recently posted..I Made a Difference to That One
Hey Irving, fortune does indeed favour those who try!
There are some bold people over the courses of history, and we could do worse than to learn their traits and decide what would work for us. People always teach us lessons of some kind.
Thanks for stopping by
Stu,
This was a very inspirational post. I am proud to know you and let me know if your SEO skills are as good as you think they are because I could use some help. First off the marine demostrated some guts asking for something instead of hoping and never taking action. His activity increased his likelyhood of a connection and by the gods of the universe he was actually able to pull it off. Am I jealous? Yes! Don’t tell my wife but I would run away with Mila and live happily ever after but I will let the marine have his day.
Aw Frank, you’re too kind! If you ever need any help with any form of blogging, let me know and I’ll see what I can do
I won’t tell your wife – if she asks, I’ll say you’re off saving the world or something
haha great idea to post a article on a current trending news topic! Please do post results because I’m curious about how this will turn out.
This is actually the first time I’ve heard about this story, but yeah wow that sergeant does have balls. It takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there.
Paul recently posted..Top 30 Startup Founder Blogs to Learn From
Hey Paul, glad to see you again!
The results haven’t been that great, I’ve seen an increase for a time, but not as much as the ‘New Year’ post did. Maybe it was because the story was already a couple of days old when I published this post, or maybe I didn’t use the word ‘marine’ enough in the post.
Still, I’ve learned a few things from this
Hey stu inspirational post I like it well written, you known what in life you need to be bold, be confident, be alive and you,ll get the girl or the gold like Indiana jones,
Lloyd Christie recently posted..The Law of Gunja smoking
Thanks for stopping by Lloyd!
When it’s the girl or the gold, or both, I’ll put myself out there
I love the way you Ended it. You said, Be daring. If we are fearless. We win! Because the reason most never advance is based on that ideology right there…FEAR!
Thanks for stopping by Jonathan, you hit the nail on the head there with ‘fear’ – fear holds us back, and prevents us from advancing.
Maybe we should all ask movie stars out on dates to get past fear
haha! I heard about this guy while reading CNN news online! Definitely, I think you’re message is right on point, Stu!
When it comes to entrepreneurs online and when talking with prospects, something that I’ve learned form my mentors is that if you do not ask for the sale, 9 times out of 10 you won’t get it, and the reason is simple – most people do not have the self-esteem, confidence or action driven mentality that is required to make a decision. Therefore, 9 times out of 10 you have to give them that nudge to help them make up their mind.
Hector Avellaneda recently posted..Come on Everyone! Help Out Your State Bridge Budget Shortfalls By Paying Higher Tuition Costs!
Hey Hector, I agree with your sales theory – when I worked in sales, I was sometimes afraid to ask for the sale, and so the customer ‘got away’. But if you don’t ask, you don’t get, and the more times you go for the gold, the more times you’ll get it
I read in the USA Today an article about her and it mentioned that date. I forgot to look it up on Youtube but glad you did. That guy has got some balls! But now he’ll have the hottest date at the dance and so many guys are going to be jealous.
We always hear it never hurts to ask but it’s so hard. “Just go ask for her phone number” or “Ask her out on a date”. It’s hard to push through that fear to ask.
I just takes balls to ask the big questions but the worst they can say is no and we’re back to where we started.
Definitely Benny, Sergeant Moore is going to be one lucky fella
The worst that can happen is that we return to the same place as before – no physical harm done, no damage. Developing a thick skin is key to this
Heard about this the other day. First, she said yes, then no, other commitments, then yes again and other personalities followed her lead; As in the quote above, “If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.” I just have to start asking.
Penelope J. recently posted..The Different Faces of San Diego
I agree Penelope, start asking, and you’ll start to open yourself up for results
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