“Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life.” – The Buddha
Ever thought that there just isn’t enough time?
Do you ever find, near the end of your day, that you feel that you have wasted that day? Do you ever find that your day has been discarded into the trash pile all because you didn’t do this or that,. and if you only took the time to do it, your would feel much better about yourself? We’ve all been there, we’ve all had those days. It’s part of our human condition to be productive, to succeed and accomplish, to wish for as little waste as possible. Unfortunately, what is also part of the human condition is a desire to own more time than we actually have to play with.
There’s hordes of books out there which focus on time management, productivity, and personal efficiency. Want to know how to shave off 10% of your waste-time? It can be done. Or to better exploit the 80/20 rule? It can be done also. No matter what particular problem you may face with your management of your time, or indeed your life, there’s a solution out there for you.
But, maybe, they aren’t the right solutions? Or maybe, these aren’t the right problems?
The Traveller And The Guru
I once read a story of a traveller who travelled a great distance from his homeland, all the way to India, in search of answers. He met many interesting people, and learned so much from them. He certainly found a much better way of living, and he was happy for this. But deep down, he was not entirely happy. Deep down, he knew there was something more. Although he felt that he had come a long way since he started out, he wasn’t yet ready to return home and shared what he had learned. He had to find out the ultimate answer, the ultimate truth, and he was determined to keep searching until he found it.
Eventually, after many more days of searching, dead-ends, and questioning, he finally found a Guru deep in the heart of India. This Guru was wise and knowledgeable, and the traveller sensed it. He knew that this Guru figure had the answers, THE answer that he sought. The traveller plucked up the courage to approach the Guru, and asked him,
“Oh Guru, I know deep in my heart that you are very wise, very powerful, and very knowledgeable about all things in life. And, I also know deep in my heart that you will have the answer that I seek to ease my spirit. I long for more knowledge, and I believe that there is still more to learn about the power of life. Oh Guru, do you have the answer to which I seek?”
The Guru looked at him for a long time, and then answered,
“Why do you want to know more? Why do you wish for more knowledge, more power, more wisdom? What is it that you are afraid of?”
Then the Guru walked away. The traveller stood silently, stunned by the simplicity of the Guru’s questions. He was unable to do anything, the new realisations were working their way through his mind, his spirit, his soul, his very being.
What The Real Problem Is
Here’s what the real problem is – that we think there will never be enough. We always want more time to play with, more money for that extra little bit of security, more material objects to ensure our friends and family respect us. We are in a perpetual state of more, more, more, because that is what we have been conditioned to believe. That we need more to survive. But this isn’t true, we don’t need ‘more’ to survive, we just need ‘enough’.
All of the self-help and personal development books out there won’t help you through this problem. You have to figure out a solution by yourself. Sure, you can learn how to minimise idling and maximise ‘proper work’, but ultimately, if you still have that fear of not having enough deep inside you, then you will always want for more. Because you won’t know what ‘enough’ looks like.
Afraid Of Our Lives
And that’s the main thing that drives so many people in the world today : fear. Fear is the catalyst for many different accomplishments, many different choices, and many different lives. Would you agree that without fear, everyone would be living different lives? Everyone would be doing whatever they loved to do, without worry or concern for what the future holds? Indeed, it would be as close to a perfect world as we could get it, but the actual reality (and this is what we must be focusing on) is that the world is far from this state. Fear is very much a dominant force in our lives.
I believe that it isn’t any one particular thing that may or may not happen in our lives, but rather, it’s what won’t happen that makes us so afraid. We fear not being happy, not having enough to ensure our survival, not seeing our children and grandchildren thrive in this world. We fear so many potential outcomes in this world, that’s it a wonder we don’t explode from all the tension.
But here’s the thing – we seek power, survival, safety, security, because we’re afraid we won’t have them in the future. We’re afraid that the future won’t be able to provide us with what we need and want. In short, we fear the future.
What Happens At The End?
Here’s my take on what happens to us when we die, at the end of our road, at the end of the day. I believe we lose the need to have. We lose all our fears, our desires, our wants and aims. We release all attachments and hooks that kept us with this world. Everything that we have fought for when we were alive, suddenly disappears. It suddenly becomes pointless, meaningless, futile.
Having said that, knowing that no matter how we much accomplish, how much we succeed, how far we get in life, do you think it’s going to be worth it in the end?
My Release
I’m still a long way from this ideal state that I’m reaching for, but I’d like to experience life as a ‘release’. Even for only a day, even if it’s my final day alive, I’d like to be completely free of attachment, of need, of desire, of want. I’d like to be free, completely free to be whatever I want to be, with no chains to hold me back. To just simply, be.
It’s my ideal way of living, and the actions that I take are aimed at this state. I no longer aim to achieve and succeed purely for the sake of having that rank, or title, or position, or trophy, or success. I work, and make my living, so that I can experience that ultimate aim. It won’t be easy, and there’s a strong chance I’ll never get there. But I don’t fear that possibility, because then I’d never get there.
Instead, I’ll keep moving without fear of the future, without apprehension of what might happen. Because at the end of the day, no matter whether you make a billion dollars or lose a billion dollars, we all end up the same.
Image courtesy of LifeHouseDesign
{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }
Stu,
Another great article and I can definitely relate to it as its happened to me. I’m just going to take each day as it comes and try to live life to the full because you never know when your last day will be. I am also going to face my fears head on!
Thanks for the inspiration! You’re amazing and I’m truly privileged to have you in my life and am extremely proud and honoured to call you my boyfriend.
Well done, keep up the great work!
Love you loads and loads
xxxxx
P.s sorry everyone for the mushyness
That’s some great advice to take Sam, and I’m proud of you for doing so.
I love you loads and loads too, and thanks for the comment
xxxx
Hey now you two, none of that mushy stuff on UTD
Marcus Sheridan-The Sales Lion recently posted..They Grow Up Too Fast: A Father’s Story
Yes sir
The way Stuart’s keep churning out such great posts; we have to get used to this mushiness…eh?
Hajra recently posted..Getting up on the wrong side can be good!
You could say it’s my reward
Interesting; I thought your story about the traveler was going to end w/ the Guru asking him what he learned along the way, what wisdom did he acquire along the journey.
But no, you had a different twist and an interesting one as well. If you check out Lori’s post today @lifeforinstance she poses the question of would you want a life without problems. The perfect world seems idyllic, but I think it could also bring complacency and lack of growth.
It’s quite the balance to live a life w/out fear and just live and live life to it’s fullest vs living a life w/ some fear, challenges and responsibilities. I would suggest just living life to it’s fullest and don’t be afraid to slow down and enjoy what you DO have and not worry so much about what you don’t have.
I have had a couple of friends who have died from cancer and on their deathbeds there was no fear, no regrets, they were done and ready to go to whatever was out there beyond a physical life.
Good post Stu and tell Sam hello; thanks for the LinkedIn recommendation, much appreciated.
Bill Dorman recently posted..Hey, I’ve been thrown out…
Bill, I checked Lori’s post out, amazing how synergy works at times
I agree with your concept of the perfect world, it would seem amazing, but complacency and lack of growth would definitely creep in at some point. Like I said on Lori’s post, problems are not what they seem to be at first glance – rather, they’re there to help us grow and become better people, to strip away the fear around us.
No problem about the LinkedIn referral, that’s what friends are for right?
Hi Stu!
I think the desire for more is a two-edged sword. It is true that the restless want for more can leave us empty even with great abundance. But I also believe that the yearning to improve, to learn, to develop, to create bigger and better have led to improvements in transportation, medicine, productivity, improved farming methods, better forms of government, technology, road safety, and a tremendous decrease in so much human suffering. It seems to me that the difficulty is in striking the right balance between contentment and a desire to take the next step.
Excellent post. Makes us think. And that’s a good thing!
Ken Wert recently posted..The Pursuit of Happiness
I can see where you’re coming from Ken, we have made tremendous advances in civilisation as a result of our desire to want more. Ultimately, however, these achievements have been done for the benefit of others.
If everyone only focused on their own desires and wants, then there would be very few of these advancements and achievements that we see in society today. The improvements in transportation, medicine, farming, technology, etc – they’ve all come about through a desire to make the world a better place.
To me, these are the best, most fruitful kind of desires, those that are there for others
Hey Stu,
YOU can’t be that afraid (nor you Sam) if you go on stage and SING! LOL
Funny we’re both touching on the same topic, sort of, today. You say it’s fear which moves us. Interesting thought. I’ll have to consider that. What I find intriguing is the thought of a life without fear. Maybe, like a life without problems, it would be…. SO COOL!
It does come down to people. That’s what matters most. When we go on vacation I fit everything I need, personally, in a small suitcase. I’m always amazed that I can get away with so few possessions, but it’s the people that matter, spending time with my family.It’s such a “light” feeling too, to be unencumbered with a lot of “stuff”.
I love that quote by Buddha. I didn’t know he said that. Be where you are! Profound.
Lori
Lori Gosselin recently posted..A Life Without Problems
I said I sing Lori, I didn’t say I sing that well
It’s great that you have a minimalist attitude to your holidays – a lot of people feel that even though it’s a holiday, they won’t enjoy it. So they take as much as possible in order to satisfy their every whim and fancy. But you have it nailed on when you say it’s the people that matter. The conversations with others are what makes life interesting.
Interesting post over at your place Lori, it got the old brain churning
Superb story Stuart and very wise thoughts and questions – you’ve definitely got a book in you!! I guess we think like the crowd and become sheeple following the flock who all contend that we need to have and chase what everyone else has or we’re failing or being left behind. The real source of true happiness though is to be able to settle for only what WE want and need and resist any other’s version of success or contentment. We need to allow ourselves to be simply happy by being happily simple.
John Sherry recently posted..Where Do You Most Waste Your Time?
I’d like to think there’s a book in me John, but it’s not ready to come out…yet
There’s that phrase again, “sheeple”! Similar to what I said at Jk’s house in my guest post, we feel that we need to have more because everyone is chasing it. Like in a town centre, if we see everyone going towards one shop, we’re intrigued and curious to see for ourselves.
Thanks for the kind words John
An excellent, compelling, thought-provoking post Stu.
I think if we all just said the words “I am enough”, every day, with conviction and a smile, it’d be just as good as a daily vitamin:)
I remind myself that, this is the only moment I have and…whoops! it’s gone. Being “in the moment” and simply “being” are so important. And although in my business it’s all about the DO, that really applies to taking action towards goals. We also need to slow down to speed up, pause and reflect, and value each moment, each person and each opportunity that is ours. As I always say, life it a big ebb and flow. And if we don’t take the time to “be where we are” or as John Lennon said, “life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans”, we miss so much. And as you said, Stu, “we all end up the same”, so enjoy the journey…every minute of it, for “we shall not pass this way again.” Cheers! Kaarina
Kaarina Dillabough recently posted..Are you social in “real life”?
Thanks Kaarina, I’m glad you liked the post!
There was a lot of greatness in that comment there, hard for me to pick out a particular bit! I do like the last line though, “we shall not pass this way again”. Great wording!
Take care
Stu, Fear is the motivator of todays world. fear of loss, fear of winning that the next time you might come second. There are times when you are in fear and you need an inspiration to bring you back to the winning ways. From my “ramberlings” I offer three of my favourites.
It’s not that i’m different it’s that you are all the same.
I’m told that, “It only takes a acorn to grow a forest.”
K. I.S.S Keep It Simple Stu.
and sometimes it pays to follow when you walk through a minefield!
Keep up the good work you are an inspiration to all those around you ,whether you realise it or not! Ian ( the old man) Mills
Ah, the ramblings of the old man, can never get tired of listening to them
Thanks for the kind words
Right on Stu! Can I hear an “Amen!!” You and I have visited this before and you are so spot on when it comes to being “free” … what that truly means. Some reach it be design, others (like me) by default.
There’s such simplicity in your words – it’s just funny how hard we make for ourselves – all the self-defeating, self-sabotaging “techniques” that we need to redirect. Letting go is a beautiful thing and coming to the true realization that in the end we do all end up the same is a sobering, yet also a reassuring realization. Something that really helps me get grounded with this whole deal is giving my time to those outside myself; exposing myself to truly feel others “pain” be it poverty, illness, tragedy, etc. It’s like my body, mind and soul all separate and each one takes it in, giving me a very different perspective of things. I don’t think I’ll ever fully be “there” either Stu simply because it’s the journey, not the destination, which molds us and brings us to who we really are and what we’re made of.
Thank you as always for the thought-provoking, wise words … you’re like cool water on a hot day my friend!
Have a glorious week!
Much kindness,
Elena
Elena Patrice recently posted..Happy 235th Birthday America!
Hey Elena, here’s an Amen!
You’re right, letting go is a beautiful thing, and although it’s only come fleetingly to me so far, those times when I do experience a release are beautiful, magnificent. They only last a few seconds, but that’s all I need to truly taste the bliss and divinity held in letting go.
It’s also the journey that defines us, and provides us with the real sensations, because it’s in the ‘now’. The goal, the result is always in the future, always comes later. But the journey is always present, always with us, and it’s this that fills us with anything resembling the satisfaction we crave.
Thanks for the comment Elena, and thanks for the ‘cool water’ reference
I really resonated with that quote. Be where you are. or you will miss your life. Hmmmm…i think sometimes i get so caught up in writing, creating, writing and creating that I find myself not appreciating where I am. I find myself so stuck in my dreams and goals, that i DONT appreciate the moment. Like appreciating the words I’m writing right now and being able to express myself in any fashion among st other things. I thank you for that Stuart. I truly do.
It’s true Jonathan, how often do we appreciate where we are right now, instead of worrying about the past or dreaming of the future?
Words for thought there, thanks for stopping by
Stu,
First, I have to say “awwww, that’s so sweet!”. (I had to, because it is, and when you fill sometimes to bursting with love, respect and happy, sometimes it just DOES!!)
Ok, moving on. I read Lori’s post before yours…yesterday? (Because today is my problem free day- almost over!!- wait till you hear about today!) I read A Life Without Problems, and it…puzzled (I guess would be the best word) me. Yes, yes,it would be nice for a few days, for awhile, but then what?
I absolutely understood this one. I truly feel this way. I do not believe I am just lucky. I have been dead, I have been in the position that blasted my mind and my heart wide open. There is so much to be learned and improved…in ourselves.
The two most important things to remember from your words today, Stu, are:
#1- “I believe we lose the need to have. We lose all our fears, our desires, our wants and aims. We release all attachments and hooks that kept us with this world. Everything that we strived for when we were alive, suddenly disappears. It suddenly becomes pointless, meaningless, futile.” (Which is what makes it so important to base your life, as I have witnessed, here, on line – your business, your thoughts on Good and Helping Others and Honesty, Friends and Family)
#2- “Like I said on Lori’s post, problems are not what they seem to be at first glance – rather, they’re there to help us grow and become better people, to strip away the fear around us.”
Thanks, Stu.
Amber-Lee Dibble recently posted..Join Pioneer Outfitters in Alaska, Travel Plans (You Too, Dino Dogan)
Amber-Lee, this was a really sweet comment! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
It seems we have the same sentiments regarding problems, it would be nice for a while, but then where would we go? Do we wish for problems to return, or do we try and find another way of living? Even this situation is a problem in itself, which would indicate the return of problems. But that’s enough fantasising
I’m happy for you Amber-Lee
Quite a thought-provoking post Stu! I’ve been sitting here for about 30 minutes trying to put my ideas into words…
For me, the key to everything is being satisfied with myself, my accomplishments, my choices for how I use my time. Once I learned to be satisfied, I stopped being held back by the “what if’s” and always wanting more.
Here’s what I consider “My Release”: I don’t fear death. I just live, and if I were to stop living right now, I’d be satisfied with what I’ve accomplished in my life.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Marianne Worley recently posted..Why Rough Tots Eat Cool Jello
Hey Marianne, that sounds great that you spent time to formulate your thoughts. I can tell reading the comment.
Not fearing death only comes about through having an understanding of what death actually is. I applaud you for having that mentality Marianne, it’s wonderful to see somebody living for the sake of living
Hey Stu. Great article… it certainly makes a lot of sense.
I try to adopt the mindset that I have “plenty” in my life and I often reflect (although, not often enough) on how grateful I am for my life. (Glass half full instead of half empty).
If only I could maintain this mindset every day.
Thanks.
Andrew Johnson recently posted..Mind Movies Reviews: How To Ramp Up Your Visualization
Hey Andrew, thanks for the comment!
It’s tough going adopting that mindset all the time, and I think it may never be possible. But it won’t stop us trying right?
Hi Stu,
Great post bro
.
Your words will resonate with many Indians( since you mentioned India in this post). There is a book called as ‘Gita’ in Hinduism. Disclaimer: I am not religious types at all and am 100% scientifically inclined.Yet I love some teachings from that book. In Gita it is clearly said that you work with all heart and abandon the fruits of action to God( or circumstances or universe or global forces or superman or whatever or don’t care).
The advice is so true and helps us in time of despair. It also talks about attachments and why should we have none even though we constantly struggle in our daily lives.
Fear is a powerful motivator but allow it to influence and we lose sight of things that we need to do. Neither is desire useful . Even though I desire to be successful , it does not overwhelm me so as to just concentrate on it only.
I think you have a lot of wisdom as shown in your writing and I can readily connect with you.
Great post and thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Ashvini recently posted..Avoid line extension trap,brand dilution: Learnings from Porsche
Thanks Ashvini, I appreciate you stopping round and commenting!
Are you referring to the Bhagavad Gita? I haven’t read it but I’ve heard a lot of good things about it. It seems I’d do well to read it at some point, especially if my words resonate with it!
It’s a pleasure to connect with you, I hope we stay in touch
Hi Stu,
. Infact there are some books with easier interpretation of Gita ( just for starters). I think it is a good idea to read interpretation first to understand the context. Gita is a book embedded in Mahabaratha( which is 100k verses long). It is all about how fragile human ethics are and why even the most truthful people lie. Extremely entertaining and full of twist and turns 
.
Exactly !!! That is just superb that you know about it
Have a great day and nice to connect with you as well
Ashvini recently posted..Interview with Swami Ji Balendu, owner of jaisiyaram.com blog
That sounds absolutely wonderful Ashvini, I’m going to check that out soon! Thanks
Stu,
Thanks for passing on this awesome insight. I had never heard that analogy before but I promise I will never forget it. We all have been there, constantly searching for something that we think will take us to that next level. The funny thing is we never take the time to ask ourselves why. I want to be sucessful not for bragging rights but to be able to provide for my family and be a servant to others. (At least that is the excuse I use in public. lol!) This has me doing some deep introspect. Great job putting this together.
Thanks Frank, I appreciate you commenting!
Asking ourselves questions is a great way to force us to be truthful with ourselves, and to find out what it is we really want. Without questions, we’ll be stuck in the same places, doing the same things, eventually dying without having stretching ourselves at all. Not my ideal way to live.
Glad it got you thinking amigo
This might be, no it is, my favorite post on your blog so far. Great quote at the start and great story about the traveler. I didn’t see where that was going, but when the guru asked him what he was afraid of, a light turned on. And then got brighter as you made the connection between the never ending search and fear. Very very powerful.
In my own life, I have worked hard to move from a life driven by fear to one grounded in joy. In joy in the present moment.
I know it’s bad manners to plug your own stuff in a comment on someone else’s blog, so please excuse me. But so much of your post expresses what I was trying to express in an interview on Evolving Beings. But you said it better. If you would like to read the interview, here is the link from my blog. And if you are not interested, that’s okay!
http://10stepstofindingyourhappyplace.blogspot.com/2011/07/miss-july.html
Thanks for a truly excellent post. I’m going to read it several times today and take notes!
Galen Pearl recently posted..So Generous
Wow Galen, those are some very kind words you shared! Thanks
No worries about the plug, I’ll check that out soon. And your words are very much appreciated, I’m honoured that you’d want to read this post again! I must be doing something right
Take care!
I must say that hope to God that I never ever loose my desire for wanting more. It’s what drives me to not live a aveage life. I want more so I can give more. I want more because life has more to offer. I want more because our potential is unlimited…which leads me to believe that our ability to consume “more” is abundently intact (if seek the right things).
I don’t want more based on the feeling of inadequcey or disappreciation for what I have. Nor do I want more based on a fear of not having enough or that I fear the future.
I’ve had the disfortune of seeing people in their last days. People that knew they were in their last days. From what I’ve seen there does come a point where fear is lost, where material items are forgotten about. But what isn’t forgotten, and what makes the transition difficult are the memories from living life and loving people.
I respect your view. I appreicate your push for people not to get caught in feeling that they don’t have enough. I believe we all have enough. In order to live – we don’t need anything else. Everything we need is within us. However, I do believe that it’s our responsbility to seek more.
I think peace of mind is obtainable while having healthy desires. I think having healthy desires and achieving them is what helps form a peace of mind.
I guess what it comes down to when I think of this is where the world would be if people didn’t want to improve and progress. People form their own agendas to do something that end up affecting millions of others in great ways. Technology is a good example of that.
When it’s all said and done I think it’s the culminatin of ideologies that drives us in a progressive manner. It’s all a matter of perspective which is usually based on personal experience, social background and interest. Before reading this I didn’t realize how important wanting more was to me. I didn’t realize how much I cherish having this healthy desire for things – and how much I love life because I’m blessed with options of unlimited nature.
Great post Stu. You made me think A LOT on this one. So much that I had to come back today to post his comment – because I had to think on it before offering a “from the heart” comment.
PEACE
Hey Jk, I could tell this was from the heart. I’d much prefer it if someone took the time to think, formulate, and then comment rather than skim through the post and then give a half-hearted comment. So thanks
Now, we could talk about this until the moon falls out of the sky, but one thing I want to touch on is your mention of the word ‘more’. I think there’s more (lol) than one way to look at this. What I’m against is the accumulating aspect of ‘more’ – gathering more clutter, more possessions, more knowledge, etc, until you’re fit to burst. By gathering the new, and not getting rid of the old, you run the risk of becoming bloated and slow. You’ve gained so much knowledge/power/objects, that you can’t take any more on!
In the guest post at John Falchetto’s house, I talked about gaining what’s new, and getting rid of what no longer works. Out with the old, etc. If something no longer helps you, get rid of it, because you’ve outgrown it. I like getting ‘more’, as long as I get rid of something that’s old. The right kind of ‘more’ for me, is ‘new’.
Take care champ, I smell a Skype call coming
Hey Stuart,
Another wonderful post. Is the book Alchemist by any chance?
I am a person who lived with a lot of regret; many things went awkward and I just felt I could have made it all better. But then you realize that whatever happens; makes you stronger and fills you with the courage to shed off, fight and get it. If it leaves you crippled and crumbled then you are the loser.
At the end of the day, all that matters is that you tried; and if it still doesn’t work out; you can bask in the glory of trying, something others might not have even thought of.
As for the future, we are not scared of failure. I think of it as feelings of low self esteem; we think of failure because we feel we are too inadequate to finish the task successfully. We doubt ourselves. Once we stop doubting ourselves, the fear of failure will be diminished to quite an extent.
Again, at the end of the day, I truly believe that we need to find happiness in what we have, in what we have achieved, how much little that might be in comparison to others; in what we are!
Loved the post!
Hope you have a lovely day!
Hajra recently posted..Getting up on the wrong side can be good!
Why thank you Hajra, you’re very kind. I have read The Alchemist, but this post was inspired by Steven Harrison. Have you heard of him?
‘Happiness in what we are’ – that sounds cool to me Hajra, something in which I try to reach in life. I’ve yet to experience this state on a permanent basis, but I’ll keep trying.
Enjoy your day
Haven’t heard of Steve Harrison. Will get hold of his work soon. Sounds interesting.
Hajra recently posted..Fridays will be different…Thanks to Roberta!
It definitely is Hajra, I learned a lot from his writings
Very inspirational. I think when we begin to let go of our attachments to things we do better. We can enjoy them, but not be so attached. Eckhart Tolle speaks about this idea also in his books as well. Thanks for the reminder!
Cathy | Treatment Talk recently posted..Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife
Hey Cathy, welcome to Unlock The Door!
I haven’t read any Eckhart Tolle before, but he sounds like a guy who I could get to know. Thanks for the comment
Really great message Stu. I love what you said about working to just “be”. I think that is such a great thing to work toward accomplishing and something we all need to take to heart. As you said, at the end of the day, what is really important? Thanks for the great message this morning. Loved this post.
My pleasure Sibyl, I’m glad you enjoyed the read!
Great to see you here again
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